Donald’s Inferno

by נביא שקר

CRAZY PERSON ON STREET IN FRONT OF MAR-A-LAGO: OBAMA IS A LIZARD PERSON!

TRUMP: What is going on with Obama? Totall Lizard Person! Must investigate, are aliens fighting to control our sacred government? SCARY!

TRUMP: Why is Morning Joe wearing those ugly glasses? No wonder ratings are low. DIM.

[Trump goes golfing. Stunned silence for 4 hours]

FOX NEWS: LIZARD PEOPLE ALLEGATIONS send Dems scrambling to respond

SPICER: The President has, based on reports he that he has seen, formed this belief regarding the former president. We are calling for a full investigation and will not comment further beyond that

CNN: Trump, citing no evidence, calls Obama Lizard Person

TWITTER: Finally CNN is growing a spine! Call Trump out on his lies! Where’s the proof?

FOX NEWS: Roger Stone says ‘Trump is the victim’ in alleged Obama Lizard person scandal

/r/THE_DONALD: LOL this is totally 5D chess, the nimble God navig-emperor is causing confusion in the leftist toddler-media and getting them to focus on whether Obama is a lizard person. Genius, MAGA

/r/THE_DONALD: FOR REAL THOUGH OBAMA IS LIZARD PERSON WHY AREN’T PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT LIZARDGATE?! (Obama with lizard head photoshop)

LIBERALS ON TWITTER: Guys, Trump is just trying to distract us from Russia, this is classic Trump, don’t fall for it, he doesn’t actually believe it. FOCUS ON SESSIONS

POLITICO: Reports are emerging from within the White House that Trump is watching TV and is not happy with the amount of support he has been getting from Republicans about Obama’s Lizard Personhood

REPUBLICAN ON CNN: Perhaps the President has information that is not yet available to us or to the public. And if it’s true, obviously we’re going to find out very quickly. And if it isn’t, then obviously he’ll have to explain what he meant by it. But what I think we should do is, everybody needs to take a deep breath and calm down here

WASHINGTON POST: Moderate Republican breaks with Trump over Lizard Person question. What will this mean for healthcare bill?

CHAFFETZ: Obama has clearly been acting like a Lizard for 8 years, we are going to arrange a hearing and look hard into this

TWITTER: Lol Trump mis-spelled “total”. Totall president, huh guys? #totallpresident

NEW YORK TIMES: Report coming in that FBI director Comey has asked NASA to reject Lizard alien claim

BBC: Is Obama really a Lizard Person?

WHITE HOUSE SPOKESWOMAN: I think Trump firmly believes that this is a storyline that has been reported pretty widely by quite a few outlets. The Lizard Person story has been discussed in The New York Times, BBC, Fox News and we believe that it should be looked at by the House Intelligence Committee

TWITTER: Oh man, SNL is going to have so much fun with this. Do you think they’ll have a woman playing Lizard Obama?

EVERYONE, QUIETLY TO THEMSELVES BEFORE BED: Trump is insane, what are we all doing here?

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